Future fogged.

That question troubled me, and the answer too.

Love is something so vague no one could see, we sense it through eye-contact, speech, actions or sometimes, sixth sense. And for a Libran like me, yes the feelings must be mutual, and for most people even though there are non-Libran, they say it must be well-matched, appearances, social rank, personalities, lifestyles, etc. It is hard to see someone always giving, never asked for return. That's is why the second main hero in a korean drama is always loved by girls, he'll always be there when the heroin need him, and he'll always be gently waiting, silently crying. But for my friends, I do not feel I am in a place to judge whether the girl is worth it or not. I believe that even the person I hate the most in the world deserves true love. Because we are brought into this world by love, and we shall treasure this very very precious part which the world is made up of.

Here is the cruel part, love does not maintain a relationship, interactions do. It must not feel good when people are annoyed at you but think for youself. Did I do something wrong? Did I cross the boundary? Was my attitude not acceptable? Everyone has their own edges and if you want to make yourself a popular person, polish it. If you think people don't understand what's in you, people just dislike you because they follow the crowd, then perhaps you should learn how to ignore them, and how to lubricant your relationships or just avoid the contact. A lot of understanding and experiences are needed to manage a relationship. No matter it's friends or lovers.

I say everyday is a chance to grow up, I say we must not always excuse ourselves, and we must always do our best to solve problems, especially our own problems. I remembered I told juniors in our sharing session, you come here, make more friends and compete not among your friends but with yourself. Your weaknesses is no where else, but in you.

My truthful answer was, I thought the existance of you would help her, I thought her not bad, maybe she wasn't ready, maybe she haven't understand what she really really want, there are a lot of maybes. I would never comment on anybody's love, but I'd say one must love with style =) I believe you understand where to tolerate and where not to, and when to help and when not to, and at the end, when neccessary, when to let go and when not to. Pressure is high, but a little push here and there in a relationship could do much more than you imagine. I'd never forget someone like you as a friend, and I don't want you to be forgotten just like that.

Hereby I wish you luck.

清泉流涌

这是我聆听Yiruma钢琴曲的时候，脑海中划过的形容词。
不是枫叶飘渺，不是青苔斑驳，不是阳光和睦，
而是清泉流涌。

就这样抚平人心，潺潺而流，或许只是晨起之时，最平静的午后，还是落日之后。
随时随地，流畅心中，洗涤城市中的烦躁，
然后缓缓地，流走。

只留一抹痕迹在心中，绕梁，久久，久久。

One Step Forward

"The best way to move forward is by taking one step at a time"
A sentence that I nearly forgot, in search of what I really want.

I have a habit of collecting quotes I like and save them in a folder. So you can see various booklets I have to write down quotes or poems or simply anything "nice". and also various microsoft office documents with  sentences I Ctrl+c and Ctrl+v from the net.

Sometimes I'd pause everything I am doing just because I thought of something nice I'd like to write down. Maybe it's a conversation between two imagenary people, or a phrase that someone might say when they are moody.

I believed that it is these beautiful things that build up our lives, it is a better memory of our heart and our thoughts compared to images. Everytime you read what you've collected and wrote over years, you go through your past again. You and you alone share these words as the way it is, because the same words mean differently to different people, and viewing them at different stages might reflect different realisation. Maybe you no longer agree to that quote after many many years, you finally understand something more, you are finally able to accept more.

These words are the record of our lives. A record that could provoke different changes over time.



As for now, I am asking myself a question "Who am I searching for? Is it a person that would love me a little but love me long?"

蝶恋花

图片联想：

1。天涯何处无芳草，何必单恋一枝花

2。有麝自然香，何必当风立

3。青青子衿，悠悠我心，但为君故，沉吟至今。

random chinese poems. =]

提醒而已

人很犯贱
总会将自己喜欢的事物美好化
却忽略了身边对你好的因素
他是完美的
我们之间是天作之合
为他找借口
是他忙
是他心情不好
是他有烦心的事

语气不好态度很差
是没有回头的
你能设身处地的考虑
真好
可是没有什么原谅不原谅的
不是说优点放大缺点抹杀
而是都记录下来说
这些都是他的一部分

对你好的人
才真正值得你去珍惜和原谅


世界是很宽容的
只是在紧要关头
当时写下来的一笔一笔帐
就会被狠狠的追究
利息翻倍而已

想起那句话
不是不报
时候未到

有时不是没有发觉
只是被习惯蒙在鼓里

Fresh Air

You know, I really dislike sports
because it is something I am not good at.
Poor aiming skills, low stamina
and when I see the tennis ball/badminton shuttle cock/freesbies come flying at me...
I'd shout, and got hit. AWW.

So today, when Jayn and Jing Ying asked me to join them to play freesby. My first reaction is NO
Then I defend myself from the thing I like the least.
Then when it is two against one
losing seems quite... urm, predictable.

So I promised I'd go to the part to.... WALK.
It's for fresh air =)

Midnight

Enjoy being alone at night
Counting stars on the sky
Tune in to the softest volume
Saxaphone and the voice
Calming my mind
A short poem or two accompanying
I love the silent night

If I Die Young

I've been working with my ESLS investigation recently, a report about Harry Potter, my favourite book. :P
While reading Rowling's interview, I've had a lot of new insight, to the book, and also to life.
She said that Death is the most prominent theme throughout the series.

Harry is a wretched orphan, his icons? Messy black hair and round glasses. When was asked why is Harry wearing glasses, Rowling answered "I want to write about a hero who wear glasses". :)) Come to think of it, yes, we've never seen anyone saving the world in glasses yet: way to nerd :)) The story begins with a death, Harry's parents died to protect Harry. The climax is about death, witches and wizards dying to protect their home, Voldemort finally hitted by his own Avarda Kedabra. The epilogue is about peace, Harry's scar never hurt again.

Which makes me think a lot about Harry. Being a hero, a young one, how did he face death? I myself could not accept someone at my age dying; I could not imagine myself in a coffin *touch wood*; and I would not understand why some people chose to end their lives so easily.

I am not someone very courageous, I might choose to risk something, but certainly not my life. You might say I am cowardy, but I could not imagine myself, being so young, unable to enjoy life to the fullest, with unfulfilled dreams to die at the age of 19. I believe that every chance to live is a present, and every day I live is a blessing. However, some might say that it is "having short lifespan" that makes dreams beautiful. No one would persue all the things we are persueing if we have forever to spend.We treasure only those that end, someday. (which I think is a very bad habit, to always think what others have/what you don't have is better)

I only hope that I can live everyday so worthy that if I die young, I wouldn't be regret.

Make everyday special, today is the day.

诗意盎然

                         “

雨下整夜 我的爱溢出就像雨水
窗台蝴蝶 像诗里纷飞的美丽章节
我接著写 把永远爱你写进诗的结尾
你是我唯一想要的了解

                               ”

下午六点钟

推开宿舍门口

终于

又一个周五午后

室内阴暗

推开窗户的同时

脑海里响起了这首歌

七里香